Body, Fashion, Positivity

But first love yourself..

23 Comments

“Embrace and love your body. It is the most amazing gift you will ever own!” 

Month of February = Valentine’s Day = Love all around = Me writing a post about love = Can I be more cliched 😉 ?! I have a confession to make – I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love everything about love and romance but personally, I don’t think that your actions for the entire year can be compensated by what is done on one particular day (please don’t hate me! I have absolutely nothing against people who do celebrate. 🙂 ). Since that is off my chest, let’s talk about something I love celebrating i.e. loving yourself and your body. And that’s the kind of celebration I want to do this Valentine’s Day and every other day! Who is with me? *raise your hand*!

Disclaimer – I strongly believe in exercising and eating right. What I don’t believe in is that a fit body = a certain size! 

Let’s go back in time

Why does this woman talk about loving yourself and your body all the time!? How self obsessed is she? Ok the answer to the second question is maybe a little obsessed 😉 , but lets talk about my childhood to understand my passion for this subject (always a back story people! ). All my life I have yo-yo’d between different sizes. I was a chubby kid and people around me (not my immediate family) made sure I was aware of it at every stage of my life. Young kids are extremely impressionable and the effect on me wasn’t that good either. One of my uncles even called me a wrestler !! (I was 10 and my self-worth after that was -10000. Ok it sounds funny now but it most definitely wasn’t). I hated everything about myself and it did not help that I had a mustache and a unibrow. As you can imagine, I thought my life was doomed. When I was in 10th grade, I became determined to lose weight. So what does a girl who has been taunted all her life do? Make the right choices? In an ideal world – absolutely yes! On earth – hell no !! I went on a dieting spree and lost weight along with lots of hair within 2-3 months! People were finally calling me thin and I was on cloud nine. I could live with thinning hair as long as I was thin. Pretty good logic right ? 😀  But but .. fairytales rarely last. Weight lost the wrong way has a tendency to crawl back. Long story short, I still struggle but now I am learning to love what I have!

Fast forward today

In hindsight, I wasn’t extremely chubby but even if I was, noone has the right to body shame! Even today people comment on my weight saying things like ” Oh what’s going on? Not exercising?”. I know friends who are on the other end of the spectrum i.e. supposedly too thin and get similar body shaming comments like “oh why are you not eating well?” or “you look like skeleton”. Why is it socially acceptable to comment about a person’s body? Why do people think that being a certain size magically makes a person more worthy of everything? You know what is even more surprising? Most of the times a person who is not the ideal size (whatever that is) , himself/herself thinks he/she is not worthy of finer things in life! I was one of them and being honest, sometimes I still struggle. Body shaming affects a person at a very deep level and people don’t realize how their words can plant seeds of doubt and self consciousness.

Lessons Learnt 

The world will be a wonderful place if people start uplifting each other but until that happens, ignore the negative comments and focus on yourself! I strongly strongly believe my body is the most fantastic thing ever- helping me, moving with me, repairing itself and just being there even when I am scrutinizing every part of it! If this is not the most unconditional kind of love, then what is?  You can always aim to improve it but don’t hate it during the journey to your best self! I challenge you to not say a negative word about your body/yourself this Valentine’s Day (let’s make valentine’s day a day to be fully accepting of yourself , flaws included) 🙂

For this post, I wanted to wear something that was both powerful and romantic! Red was the perfect choice. I chose a short dress because I have been taunted all my life for my big thighs. I have learnt to love them with time. C’mon these babies have taken my anger and still carried me around! This valentine’s day wear something you have always wanted to even if the voices in your head say otherwise:)

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Apart from being a huge advocate of positivity, I also do some not-so-natural-modelling-for-bags as you can see from the picture below 😀

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We have just one body. Either we can choose to love it or hate it. The choice is ours! I would love to hear what you guys love/admire about yourself. Please share them in the comment section. From my end , I love my smile and ability to connect with people. 🙂 – Love, M

OUTFIT DETAILS

Dress – Forever 21 (not so similar but still pretty) – $30
Clutch – Gift (similar)
Shoes-  DSW (similar) – $50

 

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23 comments

  1. Hahahhaha you always put a smile on my face Monika! Firstly you look absolutely gorgeous in this outfit and the look is beautiful! I would definitely go for s look like this!Love it! Secondly, I love the message you put across in this post, people think they have the right to comment on anything and everything. I totally agree with you, being healthy is more important and it doesn’t have to be size zero! So glad you came out with this post,people need to be more sensitive. You’re stunning inside out don’t ever let anyone dictate the way you feel:)

    P.s. A non valentines person? Count me in too!🙋🏻😁

    1. Thank you so very much Swati!It is so heartening to read comments like yours <3 I couldn't agree more with you on the fact that people need to start minding their own business! Words are extremely powerful and need to be used carefully.. Hhaha yes definitely a non-valentines kinda of person (virtual hi-fi) 😀 Btw you are absolutely gorgeous! Have a fantastic week ahead 🙂

  2. Thanks for sharing your very personal thoughts with your readers, we all have struggled with body image at some point in our lives and it’s important to be aware how our words can affect others especially young minds. Btw you look gorgeous! xx

    1. Aww thanks alot! Yes, body image is such a sensitive topic and almost everyone I know has gone through it, one way or the other! I see a wave of body-positivity and it gives me hope for a better future where young girls are not going to get desperate to fit into a certain mold. 🙂 Have a fantastic week ahead <3

  3. Romantic and powerful outfit indeed. 🙂 You look absolutely stunning.
    Loved this post, Monika. I know exactly what it is like to be judged for size and hear unkind comments about appearance. Body shaming is wrong. No one should be ever ridiculed for their weight. What I feel is, as long as you’re healthy, that’s all that matters. I’ve also transformed from being someone very self-conscious to someone who fell in love with herself. 🙂

    1. Thanks alot Kavya! <3 I am totally with you. Being healthy is far more important than a certain size. It's disheartening to see so many people struggling or have struggled with this issue. I am so glad that you moved past it and are at a happy place now. Having personally gone through it, I know it is not the best place to be in! But yay for having the courage to embrace our unique self.. Have a fabulous week ahead 🙂

  4. Totally with u on this! I ve just learnt to ignore and carry on! Ur smile is beautiful and the dress looks great on u!
    Thestyletune,com

    1. Thank you so much Chichi! I agree,ignoring is the best thing to do. Btw I checked out your space and loved it! Happy to have made the connection. Hope you have a fab week ahead <3

  5. I love the red on you. You look fab..and what a nice post.took me down memory lane.

    I totally remember the time when i met you after summer vacations and you had lost all weight . I probably admired your determination then . But now i relaize that that didnt matter.During school times,infact, I was the victim of being underweight . The truth is people have something to say all the time,even if you’re the right weight. So rather just feel happy and fit. Weight is just a number.

    Trust me you look way better this way 🙂 keep up the good writing 🙂

    1. Thanks alot love!! <3 You are the best! Yeah, you have seen me go through the transition and it definitely wasn't pretty. High school can be brutal! It's a sad reality but almost all of us have struggled through body shaming issues.. We always think the grass is greener on the other side but obviously that ain't the truth. I love your attitude and how you have blossomed into such a beautiful, confident, kick-ass woman :* Lots of love coming your way! <3

  6. Totally in love with this style, you look absolutely gorgeous, I have just learnt to ignore and carry on! The people are always judging.

  7. Monika! All I can say is – YOU GO, GIRL!I loved everything about this post – it is so powerful to see women talk about real issues rather than just how stunning someone looks! *heart eyes and all included*. You have a strong voice and don’t let anything that anyone says ever quieten that! Beauty starts from within and I strongly believe that a beautiful personality will take you very far in life. Also, I totally love this dress on you! It’s such a great color and you look so gorgeous!! <3
    PS – so happy to have connected with you!

    1. Thank you so very much Tivoli! You guys make me so happy.It’s great to receive such positive feedback about a topic I am extremely passionate about 🙂 Beauty goes beyond what is visible to the eyes! And I wholeheartedly agree that a beautiful personality is way more precious and important! Cheers to all the women who have opinions and are not afraid to voice them. I am so glad to have made the connection with you! Blogging world is filled with gorgeous, strong women and I am so happy to be a tiny part of it! Have a lovely week <3

  8. Thank you so much for sharing this. So much of this post resonated with me. I too was very hairy with a mustache and a unibrow. I soon learned that even if I did try everything to look perfect it would not be enough. I not focus on how I feel and the rush I get when I accomplish something vs. external need for approval.

    Your writing is so down to earth.

    Love it!

    1. You are incredibly sweet Kamana!It’s such a small world in terms how our experiences are so similar. I absolutely loved your thoughts on this topic. It’s so important to focus on ourselves and silence the voices of others sometimes. Thank you so much for you kind words about my writing. It gives me so much happiness <3 Hope you have a wonderful week ahead 🙂