Palate for Style

Compliments don’t cost a dime but they are still not given freely. 

Compliment people. 

Magnify their strengths, not their weakness. 

I was searching for a topic for this post and thought about my last one where I was super honest about  wanting to hear that I am doing a decent job as a blogger. No, I wasn’t fishing for compliments but more for kindness and encouragement. Ok maybe I was looking compliments. But in my dictionary, a compliment is just another form of encouragement and appreciation for a job well done.

P.S- Thank you to everyone who reached out. You all are truly the bomb readers!!! ❤️

This post is not about wanting to hear how amazing I am *ok in all honesty I wouldn’t mind it 🙈* but more about how we are pretty stingy when it comes to appreciating people for doing a good job, looking good, making you smile and a million other reasons why we should be complimenting someone. How many times have you complimented your friend for looking stunning? How many times have you complimented your colleague for doing a bang up job in a project?  How many times have you complimented your mom for making world best dishes? How many times have you complimented your dad for keeping your official documents/life organized? And when I say giving compliments, I don’t mean it on thanksgiving or holidays or special occasions but on days that are not “special” and just “mundane”.

We all hold ourselves back when it comes to saying “Good job” , “You look fantastic” , “You make my life easy” and so on..We kinda refuse to take a couple of minutes out from our everyday lives to make someone’s day a little more brighter. Why? Let me list down all the reasons that go inside my head when I hold myself back (which I swear happens not so often now! Fine it still does but I fight back and still compliment 😑)

• Complimenting another person somehow means that I am not as good.
• I mentally start comparing and hating the other person for looking awesome or doing better in life.
• Complimenting someone means they will be forced to compliment back and I know I am not worthy of that compliment.
• Complimenting someone in a group may direct the attention of the entire group to that person and I’ll be ignored. How can’t I be the center of attention?
• Why compliment? She/he already knows how amazing they are!
• Complimenting all the time undermines the value of a compliment and noone will believe that I am genuinely appreciative of them.

Yes, I have a pretty weird mind. I am sure alot of you have the same thoughts or maybe even more weirder. 😋 So let this be a no-judgement space!

I may have reservations  about not giving a compliment or appreciating someone but when I get over my absolutely insane reasons, it feels so liberating and wonderful. To be able to see something good in another person and see the smile on their face is good for the soul. All of us crave for appreciation whether we accept or not. Please don’t confuse what I am saying with external validation. It is more about making someone feel special and encouraging them to keep going. Sometimes a little nudge is all that takes to make someone believe in their abilities. I can vouch for that personally. So many times I have felt that I am not doing a good job at the workplace .. Just a tiny appreciation from the manager or your colleagues can completely change that attitude. Or when I wear a new outfit and I am not entirely sure about it.. Hearing my friend say it looks great boosts my confidence like 100000 times!! It is the small things that make the most difference. 😊

So please please don’t hold back when you see someone trying hard and putting in effort. You never know how much they need to hear they are doing okay. We all are quick to focus on the weakness of a person. But think about how much of a difference it will make if we focus on the strengths.. Go tell your friend that the dress she is wearing looks gorgeous on her, go tell your employee that the presentation was amazing, go tell your mom that she cooks like a world class chef, go tell your dad that his help has made your life so much easier.. Go tell people they are amazing because all of us need encouragement and want to hear words of kindness.

We are prepared for insults.

But compliments leave us baffled.

Which brings me to the next part of this post. Learn to accept compliments gracefully. Most of us have difficulties in accepting appreciation and immediately dismiss it.

This is how my conversations go when someone compliments me –

Friend – Monika, you seem to have lost weight. You look great.

Monika – Oh is it? I don’t see any difference. Maybe it’s because I am wearing black. *awkward laughter*

Friend – Monika, you did a great job with the project.

Monika – Oh well, my manager helped alot. Couldn’t have done a thing without him/her. *more awkward laughter*

Friend – Monika , you dance pretty well.

Monika – Oh, are you sure you are not blind!?

It’s so difficult for us to take a compliment with a simple thank you. Why do we give excuses for being good at something? I guess a part of it has to do with our upbringing where we all have been taught to be modest, down to earth, bla bla. BUT we gotta realize that accepting a compliment is no way being pompous!  Another part has to do with us not believing that we are deserving and worthy of a compliment. Doubting ourselves is the best passtime. BUT you are worthy of compliments. You are absolutely worthy of every appreciation that comes your way. You have worked hard for it. No matter how small or big the reason for the compliment. So the next time you receive a compliment, just say thank you and leave it at that. 💁🏻

Let us learn to open our hearts to give compliments and appreciate people for their goodness.

Let us learn to open our hearts to accept compliments and appreciate the goodness we are capable of offering.

This holiday season, give the gift of compliments and receive them graciously. Ok that sounded like a super lame ad for the holiday season. 😁

The pictures for this post have no connection to what I am saying 🙈. Like seriously! These were taken in Alaska a couple of months back when I thought I’ll be writing a kick-ass travel blog. I tried to capture the right moments but failed miserably. But one day I’ll write a kick-ass travel blog. One day. 🐷 I did not want the few pics taken to go for a waste so here they are.

On a closing note, I am extremely appreciative for all of you for pushing me to keep writing and sharing my random thoughts. Each one of you out there is doing a fantastic job, whatever it might be. No, you are not failing. You are learning and moving on. Now go and give a compliment to someone today.

Thank your for reading and have a wonderful week!Ciao – M, love ❤️

“One kind word can change someone’s entire day”

OUTFIT DETAILS
Kimono – Forever 21 (super similar) – $15
Tee – Old Navy (similar) – $15
Leggings – Old Navy (similar) – $35
Boots – DSW (similar) – $60

P.S – I’ll be posting every Tuesday instead of Mondays’ going forward 🙂